#why am I kind of cooking this up rn….. hold on…

[heynhay]

mid week klance because my queen @klanced is on the struggle so I made lawyer au

[burntb4bydoll]

Okay I haven’t even read the hcs yet but I saw you talked about dishes in there and my delulu head started running and I just HAD to drop this here. You may do with it headcanons or a one-shot, it is as you please ✨ Okay I’m done babblering. 2023 Bill really strikes me as the kind to come behind you as you’re cooking or washing the dishes, sneak a hand under your shirt and wander around as you do your thing. Of course it ends with fucking on the counter (or floor even) because we’re nasty here <<33

See ya ~ I can’t wait to read the hcs, I’ll do that once I’m off work 🖤

You are probably my favorite person ever for this😍 clutching my seat and screaming rn!

2023 Bill Kaulitz x fem!reader

Summery:Bill can’t keep his hands to himself 🤭

Warnings: yall have counter sex so yk, hickeys, scratching, Bill is such a smug little shit in this

You decided to do the dishes while Bill was in the shower. There was quite music playing from the tv in the next room over so you didn’t hear the bathroom door open. You keep washing the dishes as normal until you feel warm hands grabbing at your waist. The sudden feeling makes you yelp and turn ur head to look behind you. Bill stands behind you with a huge grin on his face,

“Aww did I scare you?” He laughs, you just roll your eyes and fully turn around to look at him better. He was wearing a pair of shorts and no shirt, and his hair was still slightly wet. He was definitely the most gorgeous man to ever walk the earth. He notices your staring and tilts his head to look into your eyes, “watcha looking at pretty girl?” He was definitely teasing you. Hes been acting like this all day.

“Me? Oh nothing much.” You lie, smirking to yourself at your joke. He gasps and puts his hand on his heart dramatically. You laugh and turn back around to continue with your task, which doesn’t last long before Bill wraps both his arms around your torso again. You try to ignore the man behind you but it suddenly gets harder to ignore when he starts sucking a hickey onto your neck.

“Bill… im trying to finish these..” you motion to the dish in your hand.

“Im not stopping you hun, keep doing what you’re doing.” His words are muffled against your skin, making chills run up your spine. He grazed his teeth again your shoulder before lightly nipping at the skin. “You look so pretty today baby. I was thinking about you in the shower..” he turn your head to the side and kisses up your jawline until he reaches your ear and starts to whisper, “was thinking about your cute little noises that you make when I touch you.”

“God Bill, you are making this really hard y’know?” You roll your head back onto his shoulder after putting the dish back into the sink.

“Am I? Oh you poor thing.” You had enough of his shit and turn to face him once again. He looks down at you and smiles before leaning in to kiss you lips forcefully. One of his hands grips your ass and the other holds your waist against his own. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him deeper into the kiss.

“Jump, baby” Bill mumbles against your mouth, and you do as he says, he catches your legs and slides you body onto the counter next to the sink. “Can I take your clothes off please?” You giggle out a quiet ‘yes’ and he pulls your shirt over your head. He kisses your chest a few times before pulling your pants down, leaving you in just your underwear. His hands massage your thighs while he watches you reach down to try to pull his shorts down. He laughs at your weak attempt and takes a step backwards,

“So eager sweetheart. Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you want.” He pulls his shorts and underwear off and steps back up to where you sat on the counter.

“Bill, we really shouldn’t be doing this on the- ahh~on the counter!” You squeaked out, his hands had traveled down to your clothed cunt and started to trace his fingers over it.

“Why not? Its our home, we can do whatever we want. And right now, I wanna fuck my pretty angel on the counter.” You trembled at his words and looked up at his through your lashes. He moved your underwear to the side and let his point and middle finger slide up to touch you. “You want me to stop? If you don’t wanna fuck on the counter I’ll stop-“ you cut him off with a whine,

“No! No.. don’t. Need you now Bill, please.” He huffs out a shaky sigh and pulls you to the edge of the counter. He lines up at your entrance and looks into your eyes as he pushes himself into you. Both of you gasp and you hold onto his shoulder for support. Bill starts rocking his hips into yours slowly and pushes your legs to spread wider.

He continues his slow pace, making you groan, “Go faster please. Goin so damn slow babe.” You say through your teeth. He picks up his pace so that hes quickly rutting into you. You yelp and dig your nails into his shoulder.

“This better? Huh, baby?” You quickly nod your head and lay your head into the crook of his neck. He traces his hand down your body before landing it in between your bodys to circle your clit. Now you’re mumbling incoherently as your nails drag down the soft skin of his back. He feels you getting tighter around him and he feels himself start to tremble. “You getting close honey? Cum whenever you want, you’re being so good for me.” His words send you over the edge,

“Fuck, Bill! Ahh~ don’t stop! Please don’t stop shit~!” Bills thrusts start to become inconsistent, singling how close he is to finishing.

“Shit! You feel so fucking good!” You can feel him cum inside you and you whimper at the feeling. Once both of you are finished he brushes the hair thats stuck to your face with sweat away and laughs,

“Well I guess we need to clean the counter off too.”

[thejournallo]

Hi!

I'm wondering how can I have my faith of manifesting and shifting back. I'll explain briefly but it's been since the pandemic since I tried to apply the law and it's been 3 years since I tried to shift, however I've failed everytime (well, I've succeed for small things not even in my life but things on TV and stuff, but nothing worth it).

I tried everything, I've read Neville, I've interacted with peoples who succeed, I've applied everything, but nothing has worked, in fact, quite the opposite. I've been kick out of my apartment (I'm living with my family rn so dw), I'm unable to stay in college, I've anxiety attack if a small thing goes wrong when I'm watching shows and many other things that prevent me to relax.

The worst thing is I've never been looking more male when in fact I want to be a cute girl so bad. I hate the fact I'm trans because I know my current brain is not strong enough to assume it, I'd rather be a cis women or even stay as it is because I don't want everyone in this society to hate me.

That's why I'm trying to shift. That's the only way I could be me, seeing a therapist or having hormones won't change anything, but even shifting I fail. Each time waking up here makes me want to puke and disappear. I just want to have a strong brain and be the person I should be and deserved to be.

I don't know what I should try anymore. I've done everything, maybe I'm the 1% of people who can't manifest or do anything.

I'm sorry to bother you with this, but that's literally my last chance before doing something stupid or trying to erase my personality in order to be more accepted.

Hi there!

Thank you for reaching out, and I can feel the strength and determination in your words, even through the struggles you’ve described. Manifesting and shifting are deeply personal journeys, and it’s completely normal to feel lost or frustrated when things don’t go as planned. Remember, the power to create and transform is within you, and sometimes, it just needs a clearer path.

One of the main reasons many people struggle with manifesting is self-doubt. This doubt can sneak in as the belief that the opposite of what we want will happen or that our efforts will ultimately fail. When we think this way, we end up “polluting��� our intentions with negativity. You deserve to believe fully in your vision, without these clouds of doubt.

Here are a few ideas to help you reconnect with your faith in manifesting and shifting:

Reaffirm Your Strength: Begin with simple affirmations that feel authentic. Saying things like, “I am capable, and my desires are valid,” or “I am moving closer to my true self each day,” can plant the seeds of trust within you. Repetition matters here; affirm whenever you can—over a coffee, while cooking, or whenever you feel down.

Let Go of ‘Perfect’ Outcomes: Sometimes, holding too tightly to the “perfect” vision of our desires can add unnecessary pressure. Embrace your journey as it is, allowing small successes to build your belief over time. Try to notice even the small moments that align with your goals, like those little manifestations on TV. Each one reinforces that your mind is a powerful tool.

Create a Safe Space to Visualize: It can be helpful to set aside time each day to connect deeply with your true self—visualize your ideal self not just in terms of appearance, but in terms of feeling and wholeness. Write down the qualities you admire and want to embody. This isn’t just about seeing yourself differently but feeling the reality of that change.

Trust the Process and Be Kind to Yourself: Trusting yourself can be hard, especially when faced with setbacks. But every day is a new chance. Even small, positive shifts in mindset are victories worth celebrating. And remember, manifesting often starts with loving where you are—even if it’s challenging—because that love and acceptance will help carry you forward.

Finally, it’s okay to reach out for help if you feel overwhelmed. You’re not alone, and there are people who genuinely want to support you. Keep going, and know that you have the strength and worthiness to reach the life you envision. It’s all within you; just take it one step at a time. and if you need im here

-xoxo the journallo

[sae-something]

Not feeling great. It feels like I'm being so overlooked in the hospital. Like... no one has told me what to look out for once I go home, no one has asked if I have appropriate/necessary care when I go home. When I ask about things I feel dismissed. Even when I asked about after care or a follow up appointment the nurse seemed puzzled as to why I asked. No one has really asked how my pain has been today or what I'm able to do yet or what my home situation looks like. Will I be able to sit in a car tomorrow or will bumps hurt too much? Will I be able to get up the one flight of stairs that leads to my house? When will I be able to cook my own food again? Can I get up from my own bed without severe pain? Can I sleep comfortably (or at all) in a bed that is not adjustable like a hospital bed?

I am scared. And everyone in the hospital seems bothered by my fear. It echoes vague feelings from the past - being scared and asking for help in all the wrong ways, turning me into a nuisance, an annoyance, something to get rid of.

(All of this is probably worse than it is in reality because I'm triggered. And dear god am I ready to not share a room with two deaf snoring elderly men, of which the one straight across from me refuses to close his curtain when he changes his clothes.....)

But also. Scared. So much has happened that I haven't been able to feel or process. Sad. I'm gonna have to ask for so much help the coming days/week, but it feels like all my asking for help powers are empty after the last 2-3 weeks. I've had to fight so hard and communicate so much and ask and ask and ask for help over and over and over. I'm empty now. I'm exhausted. I'm sad. I'm small. I'm alone.

Wanna cry. Want a hand to hold. So much pain (talking about the emotional kind this time, though crying also physically hurts a bunch rn).

[stormyoceans]

Monica I'm really scared. It's ep 11 next week. We haven't got Mork crying. (Sam mentioned to me that we haven't even gotten the day bawling scene from the trailer?) This eye donation thing seems a little bit too happy and hopeful for an ep 11.

I know this sounds bad but I really hope day doesn't regain his sight. Because everything the series built up about how blind people also are able to experience this world will all go down the drain. And some part of me knows p'aof will not do that. But then. It's so cruel. To give Day the eyes, the hope of vision just to yank it back so heartlessly. It's so mean. I am scared for next Friday monica.

i feel like i should probably wait to answer you because rn the episode is still too fresh in my mind and i don't have the emotional detachment necessary to be, if not positive, at least not utterly and embarrassingly overdramatic about this but. my mood really flipped a whole 180 degrees because of that ending and ngl. im not doing too well ;;;;;;;

FAIR AMOUNT OF NEGATIVITY UNDER THE CUT I ALREADY APOLOGIZE FOR IT

the thing is. i don't think the surgery next episode is gonna be successful, but i still so deeply dislike this eye donation plotline regardless of how it's gonna end because what's the point of it? if the surgery is successful and day gets his sight back, then it's gonna defeat the entire message of the show. if the surgery fails and day remains blind, then it just feels completely purposeless since he didn't need this to accept his disability and learn that he can still have a fulfilling life: he had already accepted this at songkhla, and it was perfect. honestly the only reason i can think of for them to go down this road is to have the surgery be unsuccessful now, only to end the series with day getting it again after some years and this time working out to show that 'you should never give up hope'. and i can't even begin to explain just how much that wouldn't sit right with me. and i mean i don't have a disability so i obviously don't have any right to say this, but still

not to mention that i actually still feel like those two moments with day and mork crying that we have yet to see are both related to the two of them breaking up because mork doesn't feel like he can take care of day, so they're gonna make him leave until he can prove to day's mom that he can provide for day. which is another thing i would hate

i just don't understand why would they choose all of this when, instead, p'aof could have had mork and day figuring out their future TOGETHER and BOTH trying to prove to day's mom that they can take care of EACH OTHER. like the show made such a point of making day become more independent and empowered but now they're not allowing him to be. i wanna see him walking outside alone with a cane, i wanna see him go back to school and finish his studies, i wanna see him open up his little bookstore while mork works as a cook. it can still happen, i guess, but i still wish it would have been given more focus

im also the kind of dramatic person who can't be like 'at least we have the first 9 episodes, they were perfect and nothing can ruin them'. unfortunately that's not enough for me. unfortunately i need them to stick the landing or it WOULD ruin the entire show for me. and not being able to get back to it and find comfort in morkday would honestly be heartbreaking for me. and you know, obviously the message and the representation of the show is the most important part in this, but also i would be lying if i said i didn't want to have a damn DVD box set of a jimmysea series to actually hold and enjoy since we won't ever have one for vice versa, but what would be the point of buying the last twilight one if i dislike the ending

ANYWAY. im really sorry ismay, i ended up ranting because i needed to vent but im afraid im only making you feel worse with this ;;;;;;; maybe after i sleep on it i will be a bit more optimistic about this but. im really scared too ;;;;;;; for what is worth im holding your hand and im here for you whatever is gonna happen

[sinofwriting]

honestly, kind of a crime because pda was soooo good like i downloaded it and im not ashamed to say that. like they were so cute and i just love them and the fact that they're so affectionate towards one another even after 2 years. which is something i really like in your writing is that all of your couple (at least the ones i'm thinking of) are just so love-y towards each other and they're in love and they support one another and just i love them.

i love max being a menace, it definitely shows especially in like private professor where he just handed them invitations at the perfect time to stop the questions which was so slay of him. needed to see some more of the drivers reactions but i was just so happy with the fic. also the max fic with the princess impersonator ((?) i think that's what they're called but maybe not cause like they're not real people but i can't think of what they're called rn) was so good. i really appreciated the fact that he still was there for p even though he wasn't with kelly anymore. him falling in love at first sight(basically) was so cute and i love that!!!

i could definitely see charles being a touchy person, like one of his love languages being physical touch just makes sense. i think he'd be like more comfortable being touchy near people he feels comfortable with like his friends and family especially. but he's not afraid to show his love ya know? im really excited for the charles w ferrari reader too. (tbh im just really excited to read more of your writing)

i mean most of max's braincells are focused on driving so that one braincell is all he has left (i know he's smart) but he's also just babygorl /j. at least he's got great tits to make up for it /hj. oof, i'm nervous about the angst bc i just want him to live his best life and yeah but i am ready for it (i think)

i would love a nickname!<3

TLDR: i ramble, use the word like too much, love your fics, am happy to be here, am excited for what's next, would love a nickname.

I’m a whore for established relationship fics hence why I write so many of them. And pda is like my baby, either and or the written fic or the smau companion piece to it. And I try my best to write relationships as supportive/good (i won’t use the word healthy because healthy is different for every relationship). The affection between them was my favorite thing to write. PDA is regarded as fairly gross or immature, if it goes beyond holding hands or a quick peck on the lips and I’m just like… why? I too am like Logan in PDA, if I want to kiss or cuddle my (hypothetical) partner I’m going to do it, I don’t care if I’m in public. Also you downloaded it??? Brb need to cry. That is so sweet.

Max being a menace is canon in all my fics, I don’t think I’ve written a single fic that either is for Max or has Max in it where he isn’t somewhat a menace. In Made For Each Other, we have Max causing issues with PR. In Private Professor, we once again have a bit of PR and then also him just handing out invitations and the universe rewarding his chaos with the FIA official coming in before anyone can ask any questions. And then in Causing Problems we have Max being a menace but moreso in the assholeish sense and doing what the title suggests, Causing Problems. (also that fic, I don't know what my brain was cooking when it came up with that idea, but damn. I’m messy)

I know what fic you're talking about with Max and princess impersonator! (I literally just reread it last night), that isn’t one of my fics but is a fic that I think I reread about once a week. Honestly though everything by @dilemmaontwolegs is god tier and I can't rec them enough. 

Also, Max strikes me as the kind of guy that no one expects to believe in love at first sight (he doesn’t) or for it to happen, but in fic verses, I can see it happening to him. I can see him hearing his friends talk about it and him rolling his eyes, scoffing, telling them not to think with their dicks too hard, but then it happens to him (like in Made For Each Other) and he gives no fucks, that is the love of his life and love at first sight is real thank you very much. 

The angst won’t be that bad for the Max fic! I promise! It will be fairly brief (I believe) and will mainly be due to him and his one brain cell that isn’t dedicated to all things racing.

The Ferrari!reader fic, oh Figlia Mia (the name of the fic), it’s going to something. I’m actually going to be posting it in a few hours and I’m hoping people will like it considering some decisions I made. 

If you ever want a different nickname let me know! But I shall declare you as ramble cell. Thank you so much for your lovely asks!

[landofzero-archive]

Rouge&Ruby - Epilogue 2

(Location: Starmony dorm kitchen)

(A few days later.)

Hiyori: Look, look. Our chocolates are still going viral on social media.

They're trying to find a way to preserve them just because they look so wonderful, even though the chocolates taste so good.

Nagisa: ...... The fans do think up curious things. What'll come of preserving them?

Jun: Maybe they just wanna keep them as a reminder~?

I saw a blog post about someone writing their impressions of Chocolat Fes on the very same day.

Seems like that person had wanted to record everything they felt on that day in writing, so they wrote the blog post with all their heart.

Hiyori: That sounds like a sort of preservation too? It's like everyone is carving their feelings for Chocolat Fes into their hearts and it makes me so happy♪

Nagisa: ...... The atmosphere in the venue after Eden's stage had ended was so impactful. How should I describe that atmosphere?

Hiyori: It was as if everyone had entrusted their hearts and bodies to us, like they were in a trance? Even though it was similar to our usual lives, it was a little different……

Jun: It was the kind of atmosphere that can only be felt during Chocolat Fes— So it was something that could only happen on Valentine's day~

That’s definitely the best answer ♪. Don't you think so too, Ibara—

Ibara: ………

Hiyori: What's with that face? We're talking about the Chocolat Fes that happened just as Ibara had envisioned. So, shouldn't you be making a more cheerful expression?

Perhaps I should say; Ibara's the one who should be talking about this, right?

Ibara: —Unlike the rest of you, I’m properly busy using my hands!

I mean, Your Highness was the first person to bring it up, weren’t you? Something or other about wanting everyone in Eden to have a normal Valentine's day experience......

Why am I making homemade chocolates even though Valentine's day is behind us?! I still can’t comprehend it!

Nagisa: …… Isn't it because Hiyori-kun wanted everyone to have a normal Valentine's day experience?

Ibara: Isn't that exactly the same as what I’ve just said? I demand a proper explanation, Jun.

Jun: Eh, so you're taking it out on me. Even though I'm standing right next to you and helping Ibara out seriously.

Ibara: That's to be expected. Lately it seems that His Excellency has taken up an interest in cooking and gained some experience in it, but he doesn't have much experience in making sweets. As for His Highness—

Hiyori: I'll be casting a magic spell so that everyone's chocolates will tu~rn out delicious......♪

Ibara: He's that sort of person. It turned out this way because Jun never lets him help out.

I've been compiling as many detailed recipes as I can find so that I may entrust the work to His Excellency.

Nagisa: ……. I've already mastered mixing ingredients together until there are no lumps.

Ibara: As expected of Your Excellency! It really is so helpful that you are a fast learner! Now I would like you to combine what you've just mixed together!

The next step is to wrap the combined ingredients in a plastic wrap and leave them to chill in the refrigerator! Please work on putting these things together!

Nagisa: ……Mm, I got it♪

Jun: Wow. Unlike Nagi-senpai, who is interested in cooking, it seems like it'll go much faster for me if I cook by myself.

I did think about at least letting him cut up some chocolate bars for me, but the thought of that person holding a knife is really scary......

Hiyori: ?

Jun: ……I mean, it's not like there's a lot of stuff to explain.

I didn't even realise that Ibara got over that wall by himself. When I sucked it up and finally went to consult Ohii-san about it......

Neither Ohiisan nor I knew anything about what a normal Valentine's day is supposed to be like. We realised then that Ibara and Nagi-senpai must be the same way.

Since we were going to make an appearance in Chocolate Fes, the conversation turned to how everyone in Eden not knowing what a normal Valentine's day is supposed to be like is a problem......

That's when the “Normal Valentine's Day Experience Plan” plan started.

Ibara: ...... If it was intended to be for Chocolat Fes, isn't it strange that the plan is being executed after the event had already ended?

Hiyori: That's because we were sooo busy with work for Chocolat Fes. We didn't have any time.

So I'd like you to make extra portions of delicious chocolates to celebrate the success of Chocolat Fes too♪

Ibara: Haah……

Hiyori: By the way, when the chocolates are done, we've planned for us to participate in a simulation of giving and receiving chocolates.

That's why everyone has to put in as much affection as possible while making them......♪

Ibara: Haa~......?

Jun: Ah~ sorry. That's my fault too.

Since I only know about Valentine's day from shojo manga, I made Ohiisan read the manga too.

Seems that he really wants to experience the feeling of wanting to give and receive chocolates and the fluttering feeling that comes with the experience.

Ibara: Do you really think that you're going to get that fluttery feeling by doing an exchange between unit members?

Jun: Maybe you'll at least feel a little warm and fluffy? Who knows?♪

Ibara: —Honestly, it feels like I've gotten myself into a troublesome plan. I'm still quite busy with Chocolat Fes-related work, you know?

Due to the overwhelmingly positive responses and reviews, I have received a variety of requests lately.

Nagisa: …… Then, that means that Ibara's Chocolat Fes is still on-going.

Hiyori: In that case, won't this “Valentine's Day Experience Plan” fit perfectly? Even Eden's Valentine's is still on-going......♪

Ibara: This situation and that situation are not the same.

Jun: …… Yet even though you keep groaning about it, you're still making the most elaborate designs out of all of us~

Nagisa: …… What are you making? Yours look the most delicious, so I'm curious as well.

Ibara: Mine don't just look delicious, they're actually the most delicious of the bunch. I'm even making them look as aesthetically pleasing as possible.

I have no intention of losing even when it comes to making sweets!

I hope you are all looking forward to it......☆

Hiyori: Since you're saying that, I can't wait to see the final product♪

Nagisa: …… Mm. I'm looking forward to eating it.

Jun: Ya know, there isn't supposed to be any element of competition in this Experience Plan......

Ah well, I guess greedily aiming for the top in any situation is just an Ibara thing.

—All right. I'll make my own chocolates pretty and enjoy Eden's Valentine's with the guys~♪

Previous | Directory

[reinekes-fox]

I know this is out of nowhere. But I was looking through your IF's and actually processing how many there are. Please be careful not to overwork yourself. Remember, author, your mental and physical health is what's most important. Anyways have a good day! 👍

Thank you for your concern!

But I am just working on two at a time, with the other two as a "plan b" when motivation leaves me! For example Wisteria Birds is not being worked on rn (put that on hold cause I need a very specific mood to write it)!

Means stories that progress are only Birds of a Rose, Hawks and Doves and Dog Nights. Citadel of dancing Birds has been put back into the oven, to let the plot and worldbuilding cook a little bit more!

And writing helps my physical health lol, writing is my coping mechanism and I crave interaction with it (anyone up for RP in any kind of story? hit me up!), which is why I decided to post my stories here!

[myretransitiondiary]

Morning gaming sesh of call of duty. Rudegrrl2667 on twitch if y'all are interested haha. Anyway. I'm posting a pic rn because I have like... *Knocks on wood* perfect skin RN and I have no idea why. I haven't been avoiding the foods I'm allergic too (turns out I'm mildly allergic to wheat, corn, beef and whey I found out super recently). I've been going to doc appointments because very often I get small hive-like occurrences around my nose and also on my back that last for weeks and sometimes even months.

I wish I knew how to get rid of the hives or whatever they are for good but unfortunately they are unpredictable and seem to have no rhyme or reason no matter what I've been eating or not eating (I've tried cutting foods out and also not, and still it's unpredictable). But today is a happy day because they aren't around! First time in months. Interestingly, my father also has issues with his skin and rashes on his face occasionally. Anyway, my skin is doing crazy good rn and I have no clue why lol.

Gratitude is important. I have so much to be thankful for in life. I've experienced a lot of bad in my life, yes. But also so, so much good. I'm so proud to come from the family I come from. I'm so proud of all of them and I feel proud to carry the same last name. I want to start accomplishing things. My family are doers. I need to start doing.

I got a seasonal position at Nordstrom at the perfume counter, it's a short term gig but it's kind of adorable. Looking forward to having something to do and making some money in quite a bougie atmosphere tbh haha.

I have to admit, I struggle with holding down jobs. I don't get fired, but I have moved jobs many... Many times. I have had bouts of panic and depression that pop up without warning that makes me want to give up which has lost me my fair share of amazing job opportunities. The knowledge of this is a little painful. I just want to do well and feel successful in my life and it seems like that is the one thing I cannot seem to achieve yet. It's not like going on disability is actually an option either, I've thought about it from time to time. It's just not enough money to live off of ultimately. Idk. It's definitely the biggest hurtle in my life, or has been.

My partner has been kind enough to support me while I've been out of work this time. I don't know what I would do without her honestly in so many ways. She shows me so much love and support, I often hope that I am doing enough for her in return. My partner is a newly transitioning transgender female (mtf). I love her and support her journey fully. I didn't regret transitioning the first time myself. Being Joey was an extremely important part of my journey to becoming who I am today.

Everyone is allowed to regret transitioning if they want to. I'm not saying you can't do that or feel that way. I just.... Don't believe in encouraging that way of thinking. If I had a child who ended up transitioning, I would want them to know that they should love themselves no matter what their human bodies look or sound like. Just because I don't look or sound how I would have if I hadn't transitioned to be a man, doesn't mean I'm not beautiful just the way I am now. I just wish we all wanted to love ourselves and wanted others to do the same no matter what.

God. Sometimes I wish I could give my partner advice when it comes to the next two years of transition for her.... I would tell her to stop waiting to live. Stop... Waiting to "arrive" at the perfect you. Let transition happen to you while you're living your life fearlessly. We are never done "cooking" as I like to say. So just go out and live like no one is watching 😭♥️

[nomniki]

omg omg omg you answered prayers i didn't even know i was making,,, one whole chap full of the gc just freaking out over ynji reveal i'm smiling so wide rn omg,, ofc it was terminally online jeongin who found the reveal via INSTAGRAM like i just know hanji and ynnie are sitting there giggling at their phones trying to hide their smiles from each other so they can pretend they don't think this is funny,, and if the guys are acting this out of pocket on a gc i. annoy imagine how they will react the ynji in person like-- they are going to insufferably insane and i am HERE for it,,, n that bit near the end where changbin says he'd go over for innie to hold him and innie straight up denies him god it's just so good i live for it you really cooked with this one once again,,, the details and everything you never miss a singe thing,, and idk if it was intentional but the gc spelling schemers like the psychological model of the schema and then literally just being pages of proof of the mental schema is so funny to me,, and dw about not posting when you said you would lol i am always waiting to devour ur work!! i'm going to be waiting sleeplessly for the next chap thank you for the update and i hope your week is going well <3 and hope ur summer is stating well too 💜

NONNIE I SAW UR AWAITING EXAM RESULTS I HOPE THEYRE WHAT U WANT i am also expecting results from my english exam ……. fuck this australian man (my teacher) for making me wait . anyways !! EXACTLY ofc it was innie it just makes sense ? THAGS SO YNJI LIKE HAN LAUGHING AT SLME STUPID COMMENT AND YN LILe “what’s so funny 🤨” and ji like “ur mom??? 😐 mind ur own fucking business.” sorry why am i giggling rn. ANON FINALLY PLS U UNDERSTOOD MY VISION LIKE THATS WHAT MAKES IT SO FUNNY Ynji use every available media to spread propaganda and quite literally just make their hatred KNOWN and their relationship is soft launched in a fucking instagram post . hyunjin is going to be making vomit noises and carrying around a meter stick to keep them away from each other i can feel it 🥸 YES NONNIE that WAS SO INTENTIONAL tjays also why i brought up the dsm 5 sorry i take a level psychology and think i am some kind of professional :) i thought that was funny icl ……. anywaus HAVE A GREAT WEEK NONNIE i’m glad u enjoyed this chap AND I HOPE UR SUMMER IS STARTING OFF WELL TOO !! do u have any plans ? 🫵

[fungalscourge]

thoughts

ep 200 of tma is so fucking anticlimactic

trying to be quiet at night is crazy bc all of a sudden regular ass activities will induce ear shattering decibels why is pens deafening me rn

god i love smoking but i hate smoking im so congested all the tymeeeee 😵‍💫 but the world is evil so we stay partying ifg .

i really dont fw new year’s resolution but i do believe in the distinction between years and the power that holds and boy i am excited to leave 2023 behind this messy miserable year kicked my ass and i just want peace 2024 i believe in you and i want to be better. i want to cook more and make art every day and move and stretch and dance and walk and run and swim and sing and figure out how to sing alongside my dropping voice although it hurts i continue to find myself i continue to find truth and love and confidence in places i didnt expect and as much as they hurt and haunt me and have left very real long term scars i have learned so many lessons from so many people this year and i know it comes from a privileged and naive place to expect things to magically get better but i have hope for change and for the dedication towards it to drive me, at whatever pace that ends up being. i can only control what i can and its not worth worrying about things i dont have volition over. i want to grow plants (of many kinds ��🤫) and i want to NOT fucking become an alcoholic once the shackles of youth have lifted at long last. there is no turning back now ! ! i am curious to see how my journey unfolds and i hope to see my behaviors align more with that of someone who actually wants to stay alive and do the most that they can with the little time theyve been given

man adhd is crazy i keep oversleeping and not taking my meds but when im medicated im so normal so thats also a big goal is taking meds more consistently omg that reminds me…

i got a new beautiful big sketchbook and im all scared to use it which is why im rambling and i opened the sketchbook bc i paused TMA bc imhalfway through the final episode and dont want it to be over i hate the empty feeling after finishing a media ive been intaking for a while

does the feeling that youre forgetting something ever go away? its been lingering ever since high school . my nose is running . i know to anybody else this is probably boring but im actually the most interesting person in the world. thats not true. but im interesting enough. more than plenty of the creatures out there, i guess. oh my back hurts. liquid veins liquid lungs liquid lies gooodnight

[mistergoddess]

the way i'm going to be absolutely fucked by bills on the 1st ^_^ rent n utilities n student loan payment all the usual stuff but then also... car insurance renewing and i have... hrt check in appointment on the 1st as well... and no health insurance rn bc unemployed so ummmmm no clue how that's gonna go out of pocket, i'm def gonna call this week and see what my options are and like if it's possible to just get it refilled without going in but pprrrrooobbably not so i'll also ask like for a quote for how much itll be and if there's any idfk financial help i can get or like sliding scale? probably nnnoootttttt bc its fancy private clinic, which was great when i had insurance! but now is like oh fuck oh shit! but worth trying to ask what they can do auuhhhh... but im looking at like upwards of $1200 in bills all hitting on one day lmfao fmsbl

AAAAND im injured so job hunt/working rn is sketchy and need gas and need to refill my t before the end of the month which is gonna be expensive now out of pocket and groceries are stupid fucking expensive bc im Not Good About Food and have Special Needs when it comes to food which makes it rly expensive and it's so exhausting to be like wow i could really like save money on food AND be healthier and have more energy if my mental issues didn't make my ability to eat different things and cook like fucking. nonexistent so i spend so much just eating like my Autism And Depression Wombo Combo Safe Foods i.e. instant food like ramen and frozen dinners and tuna/chicken salad and sandwiches and snacks which isn't good for me or nutritious and sustainable anyway.

it's so fucking hard i don't think of myself as struggling financially bc i'm crazy good with my money... usually... and always work it out and keep my savings up when i need to to keep a big safety net under me for just this kind of stuff since it's so hard to hold a job and i take a long time between jobs so i can't afford to let my savings dip to where i'd be absolutely stranded between jobs and can breathe a little. but then i get here and i'm like yeah it isn't good huh like money is indeed an issue isn't it. and then i don't think of myself as disabled and it's like yeah well clearly i struggle with stable employment and i struggle with the food thing. and my issues make it hard for me to work out stuff like negotiating and accessing healthcare in ways that are more manageable and affordable, like i know trying to call my gyno this week about the hrt checkin is going to be a disaster and i'm not gonna be able to ask the right questions or know how to ask for what i need and just get discouraged and scared.

like i DO have special needs and am at a disadvantage to ppl who can cope better and are higher functioning. but i don't. idk. allow myself? that? it's so fucking exhausting bc idk people have it far far worse and far harder than i do and i am functional to a degree but those weak spots and the inconsistency just mean. i'm disabled but not disabled enough to like treat myself kindly over it and not disabled enough to feel like i deserve to ask for help because i can take care of myself sometimes but the times i can't are really scary and stressful

i feel like. i'm constantly balancing on a fucking tightrope. or sliding down a hill and barely clinging to the side and desperately trying to climb back up a few feet before the next wave of the avalanche hits. and the fact that i CAN climb up and gain some ground a little makes me feel like. well i'm not really doing as bad as the people at the bottom of the fucking ravine who actually deserve to be rescued so i should just get over myself and why am i even here and why can't i just toughen up and get over it and climb all the way up. and i feel so fucking guilty like ok also why aren't i helping the people at the bottom of the ravine. if i can afford to keep some savings under me for times like this and emergencies then i'm just hoarding money and not doing enough for people who don't have that luxury like. i'm a bad person for looking out for myself first and not distributing what i have. idk.

and i know these are all really common anxieties and stresses and feelings of shame and guilt and self depreciation and self sabotage amongst ppl who have variable or mixed needs and like the fucking impostor syndrome that comes with it... which helps me feel less alone but i feel really alone too and i am quite alone, i have 2 really key players in my support network who i'm endlessly grateful for but i don't have anyone taking care of me but me and it's exhausting just. staying afloat. but i don't see myself as worthy of that exhaustion. i don't have anyone i can rely on just for like. idk. sympathy and comfort and distraction bc i don't have any irl friends and i don't have a social life so it's just me like. either going to work and struggling a bit to maintain that or being unemployed and struggling really hard to gain ground again and get back to stable. i don't have a lot of joy or wonder or exploration or experiences in my life because it's hard enough just to exist and not spiral and lose everything i'm constantly working so hard for and not spiral and start wanting to kill myself.

[its-tiamat]

hi hi!! i found your blog and i am falling in loveee >< your writing is so good and adorable aaahhh they're really fun to read too!! i see that the request is open, so... i'd like to request some hcs if it's okay heheh. well... so, i'd like to req hawks, katsuki, and dabi (is it alright if i request three characters??) with a s/o who is an airhead, sort of happy-go-lucky person, who likes to ask random questions like "what if the chicken i am eating right now was your chicken's sibling? or worse, mother??" when they're eating dinner.

i hope my request is not confusing >< thank you sooo much! I hope you have a great day!! 🌟🌟

|| WITH AN AIRHEAD S/O ||

ok anon, SO, beside thanking you from the bottom of my heart for all the kind things you just said, I LOVE THIS PROMPT. If you ever feel comfortable enough to text me, pls do it. Like, you just gave me a genius tier prompt and two of my fave characters to work with so I'd just give you the biggest kiss rn. Also, requesting three characters is super fine (It's the ideal number! I love you!) and encouraged, so I'm sure I'm working with someone you like.

Pairings: dabi × reader • bakugo × reader • hawks × reader

To be honest, at first Toya was kinda worried about you being such an airhead. But that also means you're comfortable enough to speak your mind around him, right? He won't complain.

You love the concerned look he gives you when you do or say something weird. "You were talking in your sleep last night," he said once, while you were having lunch at your place. "Huh? What did I say?" you asked.

Toya lifted his shoulders: "you turned to look at me and said: I realized why it's called breakfast, because it breaks the fast. I mean you're not wrong but-"

"Love. I was fully awake. I was talking with you."

"...ah."

Don't keep asking him which food he can cook best with his quirk, please. The answer is none.

He must admit it though, your questions made him so curious. He tried to cook bacon while you weren't at home once.

It tasted like coal.

Also let's not forget, he's still a villain. Thinking out loud, you once asked him what would happen if he donated his hair and whoever used the wig committed a crime, leaving his DNA on the crime scene.

"Honey," he huffed, "my DNA is already on half of the crime scenes in this city. Honestly, I wouldn't worry that much."

It kinda froze your blood. Welp. That's the good ol' fuck around and find out. Maybe if you ever commit a crime you should drop some of his hair to the ground. Just in case.

Bakugo used to be. So damn annoyed by your random thoughts. And his reactions are so fun that you tried to film them a couple of times.

"Do you ever think about the fact that the bus we are in is powered by decomposed dinosaurs?"

"No? What the hell, Y/n. Wait, are you filming this?"

"Nah, why would I film it? By the way, do you ever think that maybe the water you're drinking right now has been into like, someone famous? All Might, maybe."

Bakugo almost spat water over the old lady that was sitting in front of you that time. What the hell was wrong with your brain?

You couldn't deny it, annoying him is part of the fun, especially when you manage to break his tough exterior, taking him by surprise. He's been catching up lately though, and he tries to answer your questions.

"Katsuki? I have a question."

"Please, tell me it's not one of your weird ass questions, huh. It would be the third today!" He said, holding up his head with one of his fists.

"No, it's a serious one. You know how electricity runs through water right?" you asked.

"Yep," Bakugo looked at you, "another weird ass question. I knew it."

"How do fish survive when a lightning strikes the sea?" Bakugo's eyes widened. How did the fish survive? Shit, he didn't know either. With a groan, he took his phone "I gotta look this one up."

(just for the record, they don't survive :( the ones closer to the point where it strikes die because of the electric impulse, and more die because of the shock wave resulting from it. I was too curious and had to look it up too lol.)

Keigo, on the other hand, loves your stupid ass questions. He's so on board with that.

Mostly because his head is at least as weird as yours, so even when you ask him what his favorite brand of milk is, he has a straight  answer for you. Why shouldn't he have a favorite brand of milk after all? It's the one that complements better your favorite cookies.

You both startle each other with weird facts and questions lol. It gets to the point where it looks like a competition.

"What if the chicken I'm eating right now is the sibling of the chicken you're eating?" you blurted once while you were out eating at your favorite yakitori place. His eyes kept moving from his plate, to you, to your plate. "What if my chicken is the mother of your chicken? That would be even worse!" He exclaimed. You shrugged. "At least they got to be cooked together, right?" He nodded, and went back to eating.

You love how your random thoughts just make sense to him, and how your vibes are reciprocated.

Once, while you were cuddling, he asked you: "Y/n, don't you think some word just sound...plastic? forged? I really don't know how to describe it." You shifted in his arms to look at him "like, they sound fake?"

He nodded: "Like elbow, or aardvark."

"Like harpoon?"

"Yes! You get it, love"

masterlist

[myoddessy]

Jackass request ! Is it possible to maybe get some dating spike hcs? :)

i'm rubbing my hands together like a fly rn over spike requests. I. LOVE. THIS. MAN.

DATING SPIKE JONZE

Let's start by saying that this man is so in love with you, and it's so obvious. even before you were dating, people would see him staring at you so devoutly and think you were a long-term couple.

He would take so many pictures of you. so. many. pictures. and he always has at least two on him at all times. he's got a candid that he took while you were laughing that he keeps in his wallet at all times, and he keeps a picture of either the two of you or just another candid of just you in his pocket.

He's not big on pda, however, he will always hold your hand, he lives by the sidewalk rule, and will carry your purse and any other bags with no hesitation.

This doesn’t mean that he won’t be giving you random hugs 24/ at home, and just kissing you out of nowhere and going back to doing laundry with a happy smile on his face.

He’s the type to walk into the kitchen when you’re cooking, wrap his arms around your waist, kiss your cheek and just kind of chill there, unless you need the space to cook.

He can definitely see himself spending the rest of his life with you, and he's known that since you guys first started dating, but he takes it slow because he's worried that it would spook you out.

I can see you guys having really deep and philosophical conversations curled up on the couch at, like, two am because why not.

I feel like your dates consist of long walks and nice dinners at home, i don’t think he’s a really flashy guy. but anniversaries are always fancy restaurants and beautiful gifts because he takes them so seriously.

He probably knows you think he’s rlly hot when he skates so he makes a point to take you out skating with him because he thinks it’s cute to see you get flustered, no matter how long you’ve been together for.

He’s a very domestic man, he doesn’t really want much else, other than a life with you, and that’s really apparent in the way he seemed so much more at ease in regards to anything when you guys first moved in together.

Overall, i love him very much, 10/10 boyfriend and future husband material.

[ihatebnha]

uh i know you are not too well rn with like answering asks and shit AND THAT IS TOTALLY FINE NO WORRIES feel free to ignore this but fuck did i have a shit week and i am currently drunk and everything just sucks balls and i was wondering if you could give the poor (aka me) some shoto headcanons you have? can be the RANDOMEST shit i just wanna laugh at my serotonin boi or feel something that isnt wanting to d word (!not seriously! i am just dramatic) okay thanksBUT FEEL FREE TO IGNORE IF YOU WANT

"not too well" LMFAOOOO BESTIE treating me like the sick victorian child i am, IT'S TRUE!!!

you are absolutely the sweetest tho, so incredible, and i'm so sorry to hear you've had a hard week! headcanons are somewhat easy for me so OFC i can think about this with you! i really hope u feel better (and not t o o hungover) soon tho, keep me updated!🥺🥺🥺

hope these are okay! i love u <3

(warning: gender neutral i think... mostly fluffy things like shopping and talking on the phone anddddddd him being on ur side during fights)

-

LMFAOOO I guess to dive right in, one of my fave personal Todoroki headcanons is that he LOVES being on the phone with you

Whether you're actually speaking to him about something important or just breathing into the receiver, he's paying attention

Which is funny because even when you're not talking to him... if you don't put the phone on speaker, he's getting real close to you just so he can hear what's being said...

Also does the: *mouths* "who is that?" or asks the literal second you hang up when you're talking to someone else...

(Your friends are like" "y/n... is that Todoroki in the background?"

At the same time, though, he can't use facetime for the life of him. He really does try, but it just goes super terribly because he literally isn't able to sit or hold the phone still and talk at the same time

Though it's more: "why would we video call when I could just come over?" except he literally means it...

(So stick to voice calls unless he's away on missions LOL)

And while I definitely think Todoroki is soft (and especially with you), we can't forget he's also super... headstrong, too

He's the boyfriend who does not shy away from (politely) sending back a wrong order or asking for extra napkins or something

And even more so, defending you when you need it

(I talked about Bakugo doing this too, but) Any fight you need to fight becomes his fight, too

Whether it's against your family or your boss or WHOEVER, he's stepping up to bat LOL it's honestly insane

"Actually, I think y/n said..." or, "you're being really unreasonable about _. I think _..." and it ends up being really forceful and cold... that type of stuff

(BRUH AND if it's over phone/text, he'll try to take the phone away from you so his input can be heard)

And maybe this is just some kind of trauma response for him, but I think he will literally only watch kids movies. Literally. Absolutely refuses to watch anything other than like, the latest D*sney movie

"They're actually very entertaining" like ???

Also, you know that one meme "It's a banana, how much could it cost? $13?" THAT'S HIM!!!

You honestly can't go shopping with him because if you even breathe in the direction of something, EVEN IF YOU DON'T NEED IT, he's trying to buy it

Whether you're at the grocery store or the Gucci outlet... "OMG, look at that—" *putting it in the cart*

And getting him to put anything back is almost i m p o s s i b l e (even if the reasoning is logical, like you can't eat 7 expensive pudding cups before they expire)

So, love language as gift giving, most definitely

Also LMFAO, literally horrible at giving fashion advice

Refuses to say you look bad in anything even when you obviously look bad... because "even if it's unflattering, I don't mind what you look like. If you like it, wear it..."

Bruh.

ACTUALLY THOUGH it's the same with cooking. You could make a recipe entirely wrong and he just would not notice OR admit it

It's funny, too... because even if you didn't cook it or he doesn't like whatever it is, he absolutely wants a bite of whatever you're eating

"But... you don't even like hot fries?" + "So?"

(Cal also had that amazing toxic trait for him about how he's always just... eating your food LMFAOOO and I 100% agree)

And oh my god, this man is like a fucking... gnome??? I don't know, but he literally saves everything you give him. EVERYTHING.

He definitely has a special spot for all the trinkets/notes/gifts you've ever gotten him... and you probably find a 3-year-old dried out flower or something from a card you gave him in his desk at some point

(And when you go to toss it, he's like, "give that back. I was saving it" LOOOL)

I also think... whatever books he sees you reading, he tries to read, too

And he gets weirdly invested in activities you can do as a couple... even though he's also kinda competitive about some of them

You knit, he knits (and looks over at your piece ever two seconds)... you take yoga, he takes yoga...

And God forbid you do something by yourself, because he's AT LEAST going with you to watch you do it (and cheer you along, too)

Soccer dad vibes except its just for you LOL

AND FINALLY... I literally spent all of dinner secretly laughing about the fact he absolutely sleeps in EITHER: a matching silk pajama set, or like a traditional grandpa: in a webbed tank top + trunks.

So fucking funny to see him getting water in the middle of the night like this:

Honestly... he probably even sits like an old man, too:

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

--

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

--

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

--

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

--

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.